I Fought The Lawn

When I married Tania, I knew that I would be taking responsibility in many ways for Hailey and Liam. As a stepfather, I’m responsible for their safety, their happiness, and for helping them shape themselves into the people they will eventually become. I’m also responsible for them financially, as my money joins Tania’s in paying for their extra-curricular activities, such as the soccer, swimming and baseball they both enjoy. Unfortunately, that particular responsibility appears to be one that Tania and I must bear alone… because Tania’s ex-husband has never paid child support.

Tania and her ex [we'll call him Art] have been apart a long time, and officially divorced for almost one year now. In that time, Art has given $100 in total to Tania in child support and paid half of Hailey’s $120 bicycle. That’s it. Part of the reason is that Art appears to be unemployable, and has not held a job longer than three weeks since I have known him. To the best of my knowledge, he currently receives welfare. somehow, though, he pays rent on a basement apartment and maintains a car [eventually I'll get into his great failings as a parent, but let's keep this talk about money for now]. Apparently, then, there’s some money, but not enough for him to help support his own children.

If Art were making $40,000 a year, he’d owe $550 per month to Tania under Ontario law for fathering two children. Last night I determined that if he made that amount, like he has in the past, he’d owe her a minimum back payment of $6,600 from the date of divorce. However little he makes right now, does he not have to pay her *something*? As the father of two children, should he not be so concerned about their welfare that he should *want* to pay her something? Even if the money he’s getting from the government is minimal, should he not be giving her what he can, and at least *trying*?

It’s my belief that he looks at Tania’s marriage to a man with a job, and sees the house and two cars we own, and somehow feels relieved of his responsibilities. I also think that Art, like many other divorced dads, thinks that he’s giving money to his ex-wife instead of to his children *through* her. Both are stupid thoughts to have, in my estimation, but it gets worse.

Both Tania and I can smell a shitstorm in the next few years ahead over custody, because Art wants his children to live with him. Live with you? You’re on welfare! And because they get their rules, discipline and lecturing only from home, Dad’s place is like a frickin’ playground to them, and Daddy’s a superhero. It’s a frustrating situation for both my wife and I.

Because of this, I’ve decided that there’s no time like the present to arm ourselves against the future. Tania will begin urging Art to start paying what he *can* pay effective immediately, and should he fail to do so, we’re going to be making some legal moves [I don't want to discuss them here, just in case, but rest assure they will help our case in the future]. Whether he pays anything or not, mind you, the time has come for the courts to slap the “deadbeat dad” label on Art, for non-payment, and be made aware that he has not been supporting his children. That’s something we’re going to pursue as soon as possible.

Being “instant family man” sure can get messy sometimes.

- BC

BIG, CLUMSY POSTSCRIPTS: I haven’t mentioned my lawn in awhile. Well, I’ve been watering like crazy, and it’s greener than ever. I appear to finally winning the war. However, we face the south, so the sun kicks the shit out of it a lot. On top of that, my mower broke, and Tania’s dad has to bring his mower by every two weeks for me. Our chess game continues…